If I were to be asked who should take greater responsibility for ensuring that the reconciliation made after an affair is sustained on a long term basis, I would say that the victim should bear the greater responsibility. But the guilty person also has his/her share of responsibility Dating.com Reviews in the healing process. Looking at the issue from a general perspective, the onus on healing is more on the one who caused the hurt in the first place.
I am not unsympathetic to the guilty person. I am referring
to this person as guilty not as cheater, a term that is more direct and more
used because I feel that I should not be harsh to a person who had gone astray,
led by the forces of circumstances and emotional tidings. But I feel that the
person who had the affair should consider himself/herself as having the same
responsibility as the victim in handling the after-the-affair relationship. Dating Here are
three specific suggestions for the partner that had gone astray.
1) Accept the fact that you have
committed a wrongdoing:
The fact that your spouse has agreed
to continue the relationship even after coming to know of the affair does not
mean that you have done no wrong. But quite a few people assume such a
nonchalant attitude and ask, "It's all over. Why think about it?"
Your regret for your offense must be genuine and should remain in your mind for
sometime. Your spouse should know that their partner has been feeling
remorseful about their action. This does not mean that you should ever live
with a feeling of guilt. Remembering your act of indiscretion with a sense of
remorse will restrain you from overreacting to any inadvertent reference by
your spouse to the affair. It will also make your spouse feel that the affair
was an aberration and will not recur.
2) Avoid reacting to any comments
by a third person:
It is possible that some third
person will make some oblique or even specific reference to the affair. Get
over the tendency Dating.com to spontaneously react to such remarks. Let
your spouse react to it. If your spouse is not present or fails to react, just
ignore the comments. Move away from the person that made the remark, if
possible.
3) Never rub your spouse on their
mistakes/misdeeds committed either before or after an affair:
Talking about the mistakes or
wrongdoings of a spouse directly or sarcastically is not an uncommon thing in a
relationship. But any such comments by you in the post affair period may not go
well with your spouse. It may appear that you are trying to earn scoring points
against your spouse. Try to be sympathetic to any of your spouse's mistakes and
if this is not possible, at least avoid saying anything that may hurt them.
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