Navigating on the seas of infidelity recovery is a choppy, rough experience. You will undoubtedly encounter many obstacles and seemingly unsurmountable challenges. Not everyone will survive to tell Dating.com Reviews the tale of how they managed to steer clear of danger just enough times to safely guide their ship to safe waters and ultimately docks on land. The good news is many will. Will you survive?
In my experience with infidelity
recovery you must be aware of your thoughts and feelings.
In my experience with infidelity
recovery you must be aware of your thoughts and feelings. Cognitive awareness
of what you are thinking and why you are thinking it are crucial to survival.
After all, who else is going to think for you? Sadness and depression will
always float Dating around
like icebergs in the frigid waters on your route to return to normalcy.
The question is will you hit the
icebergs dead on and sink your ship or just gently scrape them and continue
sailing forward? Some icebergs are merely nothing more than balls of ice while
others are towering, mountainous masses that could take you to the bottom of
the ocean with one mighty blow.
The 5 Mountainous Icebergs that
Will Sink Your Ship During Your Passage to Infidelity Recovery
1. Overly Dependent on a Support System
Talking over your troubles with a
therapist is a soothing experience. Yes, it does relieve you of much stress.
Venting your frustrations Dating.com to a friend or relative will provide a similar
feeling, but if you equate feeling better with talking out your frustrations
then who will you depend on when you are all alone? A support system is
important. They can be like the radar on your ship or GPS, providing you some
helpful tips to guide yourself to safer waters, but you in the end are the one
guiding your ship. You make the decisions where to sail.
2. Blaming Yourself for Your
Spouse's Cheating
It is very tempting to oversimplify
what happened. He slept with another woman; therefore, I must not be attractive
to him. She snuck behind my back with the rich real estate investor; therefore,
I must not be man enough to provide for her. Marriage itself has its own rough
waters. Both spouses experience the challenges of swerving their ships around
icebergs. The difference is they gave up and cheated by having a helicopter
come rescue them and take them to a different sea. (Too bad for them, that
other sea has choppy waters too.) It was their choice to call the helicopter.
Sulk and decide to live in misery
as you continue to question what you did wrong and you will distract yourself
from taking the necessary steps to become strong again, then smack! You hit an
iceberg and down you go.
3. Constantly Wait for Positive
Reactions
Those that revolve their lives
around others are susceptible to much disappointment. Besides the fact that
being overly reactive to a cheater looks pathetic, you cannot afford to appease
your cheating spouse anymore. Once you realize they are the broken one you will
no longer look to them for strength. Regardless of what happens whether you
stay together or not you must avoid focusing your light fully on them or you
will again distract yourself and hit a towering iceberg. If you want them to
come back to you, it will be slowly. Keep sailing forward. Give them a chance
to line up next to your boat and sail together again.
4. Place All Your Hope in Staying
Together
Infidelity recovery does not
necessarily mean you will stay together. For many it will mean staying strong
and moving onto another phase in their lives. It will mean realizing that the
person they were with had too many broken pieces that they chose to neglect and
instead of taking responsibility to fix them they blamed you for not fixing
them. Then they simply set off looking for a different model of boat to sail
with.
They will steer their ship far away
at times, other times closer, but if you keep staring out there hoping and
praying they sail side-by-side with you again so you can help each other steer
the iceberg-ridden waters you could end up waiting forever. If they do not
return then the depression could weaken your alertness and you will ram a
skyscraping iceberg.
You cannot completely control what
your cheating spouse decides to do. Keep sailing forward.
5. Give into Panic Attacks
Icebergs will continue to show up
on your radar. They will suddenly appear on either side of the ship. Some will
even be barely noticeable at the water's surface, but when you do spot them you
cannot panic or as fate will have it, you will do the opposite of what you
intended to accomplish. In this case you'll crash into a big block of ice.
You cannot avoid sad feelings as
you wonder what happened with your marriage or what will happen to it in the
future. If you continue to tie happiness with being in a marriage you will set
yourself on an unpredictable course onto some of the choppiest, iceberg-full
waters in the sea. Another human being can complement your life, season your
food, if you will, but they cannot rid you of all unhappiness and be your main
source of excitement and joy.
Comments
Post a Comment